HeyChristine.com

Thursday, January 4th

I slept. YAY.

Cindy came to pick me up at the airport last night, and it was GREAT to catch up with her. We're seriously thinking about moving in together if I can just get my BIG BUTT back to the U.S. So this morning, for once... I slept in. I actually remember telling someone at Ray's party in New York that I was going to SLEEP ON THURSDAY at Cindy's place. I have to schedule in time to sleep. Scary. I spent the whole day chillin' out at the apartment while Cindy was at work. I repacked my clothes into a respectable order, did a little work on Cin's computer, and finally had a chance to pull my thoughts together.

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A day of quiet reflection...

It was a little weird to be there by myself, because it reminded me a lot of Little Joe Dinero. The last time I was at Cin's apartment by myself (April), I had missed my flight to Taipei not once but twice and was more than a little upset. That period of my life was one of the lowest during my entire 5.5 years in Taiwan, torn between ORIENTED and IPO amongst a host of other decisions that seemed so overwhelming at the time, and I had visited the bay area for a 6-day break to get away for awhile. I'll have to elaborate on that later.

Anyway, that day, I really just wanted to be alone, and all I wanted to do was sulk, but Little Joe called up and insisted on taking me out. He and I just came back from a 4-day getaway to Las Vegas and we had an awfully nice time there, so I was also feeling down because I knew I was going to miss him terribly. I really liked him. He came by and took me to Palo Alto where we spent the rest of the day, and later he took me to the airport to make sure I got on the plane that night. Here's an old photo of Little Joe on Cin's couch:

My family comes first in my life but I see no reason why Christine needs to know that.

Funny now that I think back to how sweet he was to me, sending me messages galore about how much he missed me before I even landed in Taipei. He even wrote me a long-ass piece, entitled "Mile High", declaring how much he wanted us to be together and asking if I felt the same. What a joke. I still have that email, and while I did contemplate forwarding it to his wife, instead I think I may just post it on my journals. We'll see what happens.

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What is the definition of a friend?

I have no idea why I've been so calm about this whole Little Joe saga or why I've felt so emotionally detached. I guess part it is because I've always known that I'd never want anything serious with a man who travels as much as he does, as it made me neurotic at times, so the fallout in my mind was just a catalyst for me to move on.

The thing that troubles me most is that, aside from the flighty romance of it all, we were good friends beforehand, and I mean we were very, very, close. He didn't even try to preserve that friendship. After being forced to confess that he was married, he never bothered to explain himself, much less apologize for keeping this "minor detail" from me all this time.

It would be different if I just met a guy at a bar, started dating him, and found out later that he was married. But Little Joe and I go back a long way (albeit bizarre). We have more mutual friends between us than anyone else I know, and in the past year and a half, we got to know each other very well. In part... I have never been more disappointed in someone in my entire adult life than I am in him.

Evening affairs...

The above entry sounds rather pensive (LOL). In actuality, I am more indifferent than anything else, I guess because I'm so busy in general and have too much on my plate to wallow in it for too long, although it does add a bit of entertainment at dinner conversations with friends. Cindy came home after work, and we headed out to meet Martin, Harriet, Jim, Jun-Li, Mary, Kirk, and his friend King at a really cool restaurant bar in Palo Alto called Gordon Biersch. I really liked that place a LOT. In fact I really like Palo Alto and wouldn't mind living there one day.

Earlier, I spent the afternoon calling everyone and making my great Christine speech, "Listen I have been SO disorganized recently and have been planning on the FLY... I didn't have regular access to a computer either GAWDS so I didn't have a chance to send out any emails beforehand... I know this is last minute and everything and I really hate to be RUDE but if you don't have plans this evening would you be interested in joining me for dinner tonight OKAY?!" All in one breath... lol.

Everyone made it except Richard and Sherman, who had been up for the past 24 hours closing a deal. We had a lot of fun but unfortunately it was too dark in the restaurant to take pictures with my little digital camera. Afterwards, Cindy and I stopped by to see Kevin. Kevin ALWAYS cracks me UP, though I honestly don't think he means to.

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